This was first written in October 2011 to a woman friend of mine in another part of the country who left, and divorced her abusive husband. I’ve changed her name to protect her identity since he and his family are still looking for her.
Like I said on your birthday, you are one courageous woman! I admire and respect you more than you will know. Remember why you made this decision to be independent in the first place. Sure, it would’ve been easier to stay with your husband. The bills would be taken care of, car smog and registration, DMV, etc., etc. But at what cost? Your dignity and humanity would be stomped on and kicked around daily. Part of his abuse was to make you believe that you needed him to survive. In order to do that, he had to make you believe that you were no better than the dirt on the bottom of his shoes. DON’T BELIEVE IT!!! You are courageous, smart, independent, creative, loving, and most of all created by God! Live as a child of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords! You are precious in His sight! Go out and live in His strength. “For sin, taking occasion by the commandment, deceived me, and by it killed [me].””But now we have been delivered from the law, having died to what we were held by, so that we should serve in the newness of the Spirit and not [in] the oldness of the letter.””This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all.””But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.””Again, a new commandment I write to you, which thing is true in Him and in you, because the darkness is passing away, and the true light is already shining.” :’)
”For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare [are] not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,” This is every thought that tries to remind you of what your ex used to say about you. When those thoughts pop into mind, grab them, identify them for what they are and bring them to Jesus in a quick little prayer. Something like, “Lord is this thought from you? Would you say something like this about me? Or is this the work of the Enemy trying to tear me down and make me feel discouraged and unprofitable? Take this away from me, Lord and remind me of Your strength and Your Love for me.” Bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. This is how I have to think about my self everyday, Mary. It takes discipline, practice and patience. These little thoughts are part of the constant stream of thoughts flowing through my head throughout the course of the day. And so they sneak by with out notice and that’s when they cause the most damage. “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”
Imagine sitting next to a stream in the forest. Clean. Pure. Fresh. Then a Styrofoam cup floats past. What’s wrong with this picture? Imagine what it looks like farther down river where tree branches grab the debris and hold it. Or where the water flow reaches a pond and slows down. How many cups, cans, wrappers, cigarette butts and plastic bottles will be there clogging up the water way? Think of the river as your stream of thoughts throughout the day and the cup as those thoughts that tear down and cause you to feel worthless. If allowed to pass by, the trash builds up to a point where the flow is choked off and the water itself is polluted. DON’T LET THE CUP FLOAT BY! Jump up and grab it out of the water as soon as you recognize it for what it is!!! It is trash! That thought is trash. Not the person who thought it, but the thought about the person is trash. Take it to a trash receptacle and dispose of it. Let the trash man take it away. Think of Jesus as the trash man taking away the trash from your presence. “O LORD, [You are] the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You maintain my lot. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant [places]; Yes, I have a good inheritance. I will bless the LORD who has given me counsel; My heart also instructs me in the night seasons. I have set the LORD always before me; Because [He is] at my right hand I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; My flesh also will rest in hope. For You will not leave my soul in Sheol, Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption. You will show me the path of life; In Your presence [is] fullness of joy; At Your right hand [are] pleasures forevermore.” Ps 16:5-11 :’D God bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you Peace. In Christ, Robert.